Father’s Day

Written for Elouise and her family for Roger this Father’s Day.

Our dad is special, he always has been,

Farmer through and through, there’s no in between.

Loves driving his tractor, it’s his little dream,

Always has been since he was a teen.

Gets up each morning, moisturising time,

All over his body like slurry and slime.

Grass in his mouth and always top off,

Working the land and clearing a trough.

He’s brown from the waist up, but not from his legs,

They’re just the whitest polar white pegs.

Wearing long johns doesn’t help much,

Mates at David Browns thought it a funny touch.

Used to joke and make fun of his attire,

Engineers together, a micky-taking choir.

He loves to eat liquorice, it’s his favourite treat,

Except for the time, Laura made a clay sweet.

Spitting it out, ’What the heck is that?

‘Who put that there? You stupid daft bat!’

Always helping others and lending a hand,

Caring and loyal and that’s why he’s grand.

He may be tight but it’s all part of his plan,

Ready if it rains to look after his fam.

Whisky and orange is his little tipple,

Single or double, quite often a triple.

Loves all animals, adopts all stray cats,

They must know they’ll get some nice pats.

Loves dancing at parties to Twist and Shout.

He simply knows what The Beetles are about.

He has a strange taste, red sauce on each meal,

Porridge or cornflakes to him it tastes real.

Loves his pork pies with ketchup of course,

Will never eat pasta, a rule he’ll enforce.

He likes people who talk plain and straight,

No two faced liars, those sort he does hate.

He also can’t stand city boys, driving fast in his lanes,

This is the country, ‘Sod off!’ he complains.

Hates technology, especially the phones,

‘Nobody talks now,’ is one of his moans.

He can’t work the microwave, it’s all lost to him,

And the kettle on electric, well that is a sin!

‘Get it on the Rayburn, ‘You know it tastes better.’

Sitting down comfy and putting on his sweater.

He’s dad to two and step dad to three,

Grandad to Freddie, the best by a degree.

He’s our special dad and one of a kind,

Funny and loving I think you might find…

That on this special day we think of you,

Because we all love you and that just is true!

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